What’s the longest Uber ride you’ve ever taken?
How about the longest you’ve waited in line at CVS to pick up a prescription? What’s the longest you’ve had to sit with nothing but your own thoughts for the most part, conserving your phone battery or trying not to get carsick or paying attention to the movement of the line, otherwise you’d be endlessly scrolling. All while this song plays in the background softly.
My answer is about 2 hours and 45 minutes, maybe a little more. And it wasn’t in an Uber, a pharmacy or a grocery store. It was at the Ed Sheeran concert in Philadelphia on Saturday night — his first since he kicked opener Macklemore off the tour at the behest of billionaire Robert Kraft, who didn’t take kindly to Macklemore making a statement about Palestine at Sheeran’s concert in New York.
It’s important, for me, to tell you that I did not go to the show as a fan. Last week, Billboard editor Andrew Unterberger hit me up on social media to say that they were looking for a Philly journalist who might want to cover the show and, ultimately, whether Ed Sheeran either makes a statement about this whole thing or doesn’t say anything at all, thus making an even larger statement. I said yes, and Saturday night I found myself in the nosebleeds of Lincoln Financial Field with a soft pretzel in my mouth while I steadied my camera, filming the jumbotron as Sheeran said something.
Let’s back up a little.
I probably don’t want/need to explain the entire Sheeran drama, much less the entire Israeli-Palestinian conflict, to you. But, as a quick primer in case you’re not as clued in, as I learned many people weren’t:
Macklemore made a pretty tame statement opening for Sheeran in support of Palestine, carefully telling the audience that a criticism of Israel is not an attack on Jewish people, and that his ultimate goal is world peace for all and freedom from tyranny and violence. The crowd reacted positively, because yeah why not.
Robert Kraft, billionaire owner of the New England Patriots and their Gillette Stadium, where Sheeran was scheduled to perform later on the tour, took issue with this and called Sheeran’s camp to demand Macklemore be removed from the tour. Macklemore was then removed from the tour, and shared a statement on social media basically saying that Ed Sheeran as a person and brand is committed to absolute neutrality and this ran in the face of that, and despite what Macklemore believed was a lengthy friendship and understanding of one another, it looked for all to see that Sheeran buckled to the pressure of rich guys threatening his bag and told his friend to kick rocks, respectfully.
Sheeran took plenty of heat, understandably, and then posted his own statement, which included a lot of words but didn’t actually say much. He dug himself deeper with his commitment to both-sidesism in an issue that does not typically allow for both-sidesism, and he ate a lot of PR shit for it. He was being summarily dunked on online. Some great stuff. At the same time, Macklemore was now swimming in rediscovered social clout and found himself getting co-signed by en vogue artists who are also (often more/differently) vocal about Palestine, like Kneecap and Fontaines D.C.
After that, Sheeran’s other openers on this tour, FINNEAS, Aaron Rowe, Lukas Graham, as well as the band Beoga, which performed as Sheeran’s backing band for a section of the show each night, dropped off the tour in solidarity with Macklemore, whose social cred was reaching Obama Era “Thrift Shop” levels once again.
Sheeran, who had been largely scandal free up to this point, was now in the middle of a fine kettle of fish, as they say in his native England. But the tour apparently was still going forward.
So, yeah, Billboard wanted to see what happened, so they sent me.
Sitting in my high-up seats, enjoying the September Philadelphia weather and my overpriced bottle of water (pre-pretzel), I thought about how odd all of this was. Not that I was at an Ed Sheeran concert alone. I could do a lot of embarrassing things for the sake of journalism. My friend still makes fun of me about when I was in the height of my post-graduate unemployed journalism major psychosis talking about various forms of stunt journalism I could pitch outlets in 2014 and landed on “being nocturnal for a few months” as an offhand example. Also in my head I sort of pretended it was a very safe Jackass stunt.
I’m Brendan Menapace, and this is the sober solo acoustic stadium show.
What was odd was the assignment and mission itself:
Go to the place where it is designed for nothing to happen, to see if something happens or if nothing happens, which would be something — even a larger something than if something happens. Nothing is supposed to happen at an Ed Sheeran concert. To be sent to one for the sake of reporting on controversy is akin to being a Green Beret deployed to Sioux Falls.
But there I sat, waiting with my phone camera at the ready for when anything happened.
I was surprised, honestly, when something did. Sheeran came out and did a tight five (actually just over two minutes) of prepared material before the show began. You can read my whole write-up on Billboard (later!), but here’s a truncated version:
I’m used to my music being criticized, and I’m always happy to take that because I’m lucky a lot of you like my stuff, and to be honest, I’m surprised. I’m not surprised that other people don’t. It’s normal. But this week, the criticism was about something much more important, and I’ve had to take and make difficult decisions, and I am making mistakes, and I’m so, so sorry.
What happened in Israel at the Nova music festival on October 7th was horrific and compounded centuries of Jewish pain. What is happening in Gaza is catastrophic, unjustifiable, and disproportionate. My heart has been broken by the scale of devastation and loss of civilians’ lives, of children’s lives. And the systemic injustice we’re seeing unfold in the West Bank cannot be overlooked.
For a performer, Sheeran’s delivery was noticeably Best Man Speech cadence.
I am already speaking to people across the spectrum to work out how to make a contribution that helps victims of these terrible times, and listening and learning because I do not know enough. I honestly am so grateful that you’re here tonight with me. This concert is still a place where everyone is welcome, and everyone here can stand beside people that have opposing views. Everyone here can stand by people that they don’t agree with on everything, and they can all agree on singing these songs. And these songs are about love, hope and unity.
The crowd cheered. I had spent about a half hour thinking about the crowd, and how they might react or what they might expect from Sheeran in regards to all of this. As I walked around, I came to the conclusion that I don’t think anyone here expected anything at all. I think anyone who had a ticket that cared sold it or got a refund, and anyone who held onto their ticket or bought one didn’t care or, more likely, didn’t even know the depths of all of this and try to “just stay out of politics” like Sheeran does. Also, there were a lot of actual children who were there, and I don’t expect them to really understand the nuances of Israel and Palestine any better than I understood the political terroir (that’s terroir with an “i”) of the Middle East in 2001 when I was in 4th grade.
Out of curiosity I asked a couple sitting near me what they thought about the openers and backing band all dropping off the tour, and they seemed confused by the question.
“We just paid for Ed Sheeran, man. That’s who we want to see.”
I think what I settled on in all of this is that Ed Sheeran, as a person and product and however much those two entities overlap, is not meant to be criticized in any way. It’s not meant to be dissected or discussed. The Ed Sheeran Apparatus does not exist to be thought about at all. It and he are not meant to be considered. To do so runs counter to its raison d'être.1 And I should be clear that my own criticism of Ed Sheeran is not an attack on or indictment of any of my friends who like some Ed Sheeran songs.
What Macklemore said in his statement about this level of outspoken opinion or political pushback or whatever you want to call it blindsiding Ed Sheeran is, I think, ultimately correct. I don’t know the behind the scenes. I don’t know the actual guy Ed Sheeran. But it really does seem like the very existence of controversy — not just controversy over Israel and Palestine — but any controversy at all that involves Ed Sheeran, warped the Ed Sheeran Entertainment Entity’s brain. Ed Sheeran was not meant to be cared about to this level. And the public support and renaissance2 of Macklemore’s popularity just goes to show how absolutely dull someone like Ed Sheeran is to make Macklemore and what Macklemore actually said seem interesting and incendiary. It’s as if oatmeal started a controversy so fiery that we all somehow landed on talking about how Stouffer’s Mac and Cheese fucking rules actually and has always ruled and got too much crap from snobs, and how we always hated plain oatmeal and will never eat it again.
The simple fact is, though, no one in Sheeran’s position can afford to be nonpolitical. Taylor Swift has tried it forever but made the crucial mistake of accidentally becoming a god to people, so she had to say something eventually. Sheeran isn’t under a microscope even close to that size, and his every movement and mutterance is not decoded, but he still is well known enough and was thrust into this situation that “I’m not getting involved, let’s just play guitar,” doesn’t fly anymore. And that wasn’t how things were supposed to go.
He and it thrive as a product because of its true neutrality, and he and it know that better than anything, which is why after we got more than 2-and-a-half hours of acoustic jamming and some rapping that quite truly made me make this face even though I was alone, Sheeran was feeling positive enough about the whole thing that he made another statement. This time, it was closer to a tight five. He ran over, actually. I timed it, because I recorded it.
The line that stood out, to me, was:
The one thing I would like to apologize for is the first bit of the show, where it wasn’t about the music and I had to talk.
I imagined a well-paid and highly stressed crisis PR person making the same face that I made during the rapping.
I saw ticket sales for this gig, and I didn’t see cancellations, I saw people buying tickets. I’m there, and everyone’s telling me to cancel, and I’m feeling all of my friends and family and people I know abandon me. And I look at the end of the week, and I see 50,000 people who haven’t abandoned me. People will say what they want, but I’m doing this for you. I love you. I love this. I love the unison we have here. I love the feeling this concert brings. I love bringing people together of all races, all religions, all political ideas.
[…]
A lot of people here have differing opinions, and we’ve had a great night. And you are standing next to people and dancing with people who you may disagree with. And you probably understand them better by being, you know, one and love. I have had so many opinions on this. But the root of it is love. And if this tour ends, love doesn’t win. Love doesn’t win. You know? I can’t let you guys down. That’s why I’m here tonight, on my own, for you guys.
In this speech, Sheeran ended up apologizing for even making that statement, which included an apology, though one I wouldn’t bet on him having written. He even mentioned something about being sorry for having made it because of something to do with there being children there? Didn’t quite connect those dots. But Sheeran made sure to triple down on his lengthy statements “laboring the point,”3 as he mentioned multiple times in the evening, landing on that same idea of everybody love everybody, we all just need to enjoy the music and whatnot.
This wasn’t the easy option, tonight. I didn’t know what was going to happen. I didn’t know whether I’d be safe, or you’d be safe (Editor’s note: not the order I’d put those in) or things would be thrown at me, there’d be boos, and I’ve felt so much love from you guys and I’m so grateful.
Sheeran then did something that looked like getting overcome with emotion and wiping away tears. Couldn’t tell, my seats weren’t great. And he got up and finished his set, pyrotechnics and all.
I left the show without any real answers to any of this, as Ed Sheeran intended. And, despite my best efforts, I had “Bad Habits” in my head on the long trek home from the Linc to my house in North Philly. I felt I understood Ed Sheeran’s position through his lack of position, though: There is never meant to be a position so when he’s asked to choose one it becomes a paradox of sorts and makes even Ed Sheeran go cross-eyed. I left feeling a little disappointed in the crowd, knowing that most were blissfully unaware of all of this context, and I felt a little jealous even of that I guess. Maybe? I left thinking about how I couldn’t wait to show everyone my video of Ed Sheeran rapping and play it around the house sometimes as a goof.
I thought about how it was good that Andrew gave me this assignment, because my other idea of writing about this Ed Sheeran controversy was to write something from the point of view of a comedian delivering a set at the Roast of Ed Sheeran, but I felt my load-bearing joke was in poor taste and not actually on-topic here.
Ed Sheeran’s here, everybody. Ed Sheeran. Hey who woulda thought this guy could see two sides of a complicated issue? [Cut to picture of Ed Sheeran’s lazy eye.]
But I wouldn’t say that. That’s physical bullying and misses the point of bullying him for his character.
I thought about how once again Philadelphia is a main character in pop culture/culture at large/history, and I always love when that happens.
I thought about how as I left, a reporter from the local news asked me if I wanted to make a comment about the show and I said Hey sorry man, no can do, I’m a reporter too and held back putting on my sunglasses even though it was 11 at night to look cooler walking away.
I thought about another statement from an artist that was much more direct than Sheeran’s.
And as I made my way home, I thought about how some shows, some artists, just do not under any circumstances warrant pyrotechnics and fireworks.
Today’s Snakes and Sparklers musical guest is New Found Glory.
What else is going on?
Got a few stories published over on SPIN if you want to check those out:
I did an interview with Gaslight Anthem frontman Brian Fallon about his latest solo album, Not Bad for New Jersey. Brian’s the man. I’ve been a fan of his for 20 years now, and it was very fun chatting with him about what makes a Jersey Guy, and the importance of self awareness and a wink in your art. Read that here.
I also profiled Petey USA, who you might recognize from his TikTok/Instagram videos, but he also has been putting out music that is very much not a joke. He was interesting to talk to. Kind of like Fallon had his Jersey guys, Petey very much personifies the Chicago Guy in LA who desperately doesn’t want to be seen as too big for his britches or, in modern parlance, pick-me. Read that one here.
More fun stuff in the hopper, too. Message me if you want the rapping video.
French Phrase In This Post Count: 3
Turns out it’s 4
This blog specializes in laboring the point