In Defense of Exactly One Hoobastank Song

Why 'Crawling In The Dark' is unfairly tethered to an otherwise lame band's lame reputation

What’s the weirdest musical hill you’d die on? As in, what’s the song you’d defend in the face of countless critics saying it sucks? I know mine immediately, and I’m ready to plant this flag firmly in the ground and stand with it until my dying breath.

“Crawling In The Dark,” the lead single off of Hoobastank’s 2002 debut album, absolutely rips.

I know, I know. hOoBaStAnK. Big joke. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just listen.

Remember that one? This video has everything an early 2000’s video should have. Multiple interlaced plot lines/characters, set against a simultaneous live performance, elaborate shots and edits moving throughout locations, the mandatory ‘00s SoCal hairstyles of either swoopy bangs or spiked hair, a bassist with a PRS bass with 5 strings he’s not using, angry parents who just don’t understand their kid who looks 30’s love of alternative music. It’s a blacked out bingo card for the American Pie generation.

This album turns 20 in 2022, so I figured I’d get out in front of this in the off chance that any other worthwhile publications decide to retcon two decades of shitting on Hoobastank and say, “You know what? Hoobastank isn’t good, but ‘Crawling In The Dark’ kinda goes.'

It does. It really does. Let’s listen again.

Music blogs and publications have sort of a history of doing this. Do a little research about how Rolling Stone originally shit on the first Led Zeppelin and Black Sabbath albums. Or like how Pitchfork would have absolutely eviscerated Taking Back Sunday’s first album had they come down from their Neutral Milk Hotel-colored tower in 2002, but gave it an 8 in a 2019 review. Turns out hindsight really is 8/10.

Anyway, back to Hoobastank, particularly “Crawling In The Dark.”

Most people know Hoobastank for “The Reason,” which is, as I am totally aware, a bullshit song. It sucks. I’m not here to defend it and I’m not even going to try. But they might have known “Crawling In The Dark” without realizing it, because it was in some truly awesome stuff.

It was on the Fast and the Furious soundtrack.

It was on the MLB Slugfest 2004 soundtrack.

It was on the soundtrack of a game so underrated and unappreciated that I could write a whole other blog post about (and might): Aggressive Inline. (Seriously, this game was awesome. It was an open-world action sports game before Tony Hawk 4 did it. The soundtrack also had Reel Big Fish, Eric B. & Rakim, The Vandals, Student Rick, Sublime and the Ataris. Please, Playstation, remaster this for PS4 or PS5. I’ll spend so much money on it.)

I’m getting off track. Let’s listen to “Crawling In The Dark” again to get focused on the topic at hand.

Hell yeah.

There are a few reasons I think Hoobastank is both the butt of a lot of jokes and that this song, which, as stated above, whips ass, is overlooked and tarnished by their reputation.

The first is that Hoobastank a top-10 all-time terrible band name. Even within the confines of a decade with the worst fashion choices imaginable it was stupid.

Another reason, which discusses more of the musical merits and shortcomings, is that Hoobastank sort of fit in the space between a lot of different circles, never fully belonging to any. Looking at them through the lens of what was popular at the time and in their geographic location of Southern California, you had the capital-P Pop Punk bands like Blink 182, third wave emo, and the burgeoning Nu Metal genre.

There are plenty of aspects of their songs and aesthetics that fit in with these bands, their peg didn’t quite fit in the pop punk hole. The lyrics were just vaguely maaaaybe Christian enough to appeal to the Tooth & Nail kids, but they never got on that wave.

And there were plenty of stylistic parts of the band and its sound that earned them adjacency to bands like Alien Ant Farm or even the more Nu Metal tendencies of early Incubus. There is a lot in common with Incubus, actually. They’re from the same area and were peers coming up, but where Incubus shed its Nu Metal in favor of Brandon Boyd being a lithe Southern California yoga and wine guy, Hoobastank never did anything to transcend its original style.

In short, Hoobastank was too aggro to be in with the pop punk crowd, wasn’t up its own ass enough to be as big and accepted as Incubus, but was also too handsome and wore too much Hurley to be fully in the nu metal camp. Put that together with a dumbass band name and a future single that became way too popular despite being a dogshit song, and you have a recipe for being a joke of a band for all of existence.

And it’s a shame, really. Because, as I said in my original thesis statement, “Crawling In the Dark,” the lead single off of the otherwise terrible band’s 2002 self-titled debut, totally kicks ass.

But, alas, as we well know, a bad person is still a bad person even when they do one good deed. And no matter how good I believe this song is, it does not make up for the rest of Hoobastank’s Whole Thing.

However, while discussing this song and this song alone, I will die on this hill. Hopefully I have MADE YOU UNDERSTAAAND IT.

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Today’s Snakes and Sparklers musical guest is Hoobastank.